


Love of Dead Things (Alternate Universe) I thru IV, A

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 1999-09-30
Updated: 1999-09-30
Packaged: 2018-11-20 11:56:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11335185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: Getting what we want





	Love of Dead Things (Alternate Universe) I thru IV, A

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

A Love of Dead Things - AU I - Glory Beyond Our Reach by Te

A Love of Dead Things - AU I  
Glory Beyond Our Reach  
by Te  
10/98  
Disclaimers: Not mine, and I sincerely hope I don't get sued.  
Spoilers: Not a one.  
Summary: Getting what we want.  
Ratings Note: R.  
Author's Note: A possible ending to the Dead Things universe. Call it two or three months after the ending of "Time." In this story, "Taedium Vitae" never happened.  
Acknowledgments: With thanks to Dawn Sharon for giving me an image I just couldn't shake, despite my best efforts to do so. For my sweetness and dark, my Sister Blue, because I love her. Thanks also go to Rye for marvelous beta. All remaining mistakes are, of course, my own.  
Feedback: PLEASE. Always. Always more. 

* * *

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Glory Beyond Our Reach  
by Te  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alex stood at the window, watching the snow fall. Large, wet flakes of the sort that settled on the bare trees with the slow heft of freeze. Of the sort that coated the land with a thick, silent weight. 

That last didn't feel quite right, and he closed his eyes to listen. Quiet and quiet and... there. Perhaps fifteen miles to the rough Northeast a crunch, muffled and rumbling. Some winter-dead thing surrendering to the weight of water and chill. 

Sometimes he wondered at his own morbidity. Looked at his pale and mute companion and wondered if there was some quality of *Mulder* that was catching. Months since the last time they had talked, really talked. And then... Then it was only for him to yell, and accuse. For Mulder to subside and agree to try. For Alex. 

Alex felt his lips curl back into a smirk. Caught the ghost of his reflection in the buttery glare of lamp on window. He wasn't so different than he'd always been, really. Same face, same not-quite-right hair. Same easy blankness. 

Once he had thought of it as the birth of possibility. A walking corpse need fear nothing but discovery by the living. He would look at himself and see the perfection of a true obscenity. Simple and clean. Unfettered by the heat and dirt of mortality. 

And when he longed for the time Before, he would find a woman. Lush and simple with a pretty smile, a guileless laugh. He would kill her as messily as he could, and bathe in her blood until his laughter would cause the stick and tack to crack with each convulsion of giggles... And call Mulder to bathe him clean again. Once he'd thought it was all he needed.

No one had ever paid Alex to think. 

Days like today, evenings of endless February, watching Mulder sway with slow grace as he stared at their darkened fireplace, he would see the truth. Hours and hours in search of a death that ran from them like a frightened virgin. That lurked within the grace of their shadows. Sometimes Alex thought of the hyena, and longed to stalk the savanna with hunched laughter at his heels. Sometimes Alex thought of Anatoly and wondered if things might have been different if he hadn't fucked things up so royally in his flight.

Alex couldn't lie to himself about that... He'd left because he'd watched his humanity slip away on leather wings and the taste of iron. He'd left because to stay would be to admit the truth of the vision. He could be angry -- he'd never asked for this. But it wasn't in him to deny the end of the paths he'd trod, and to deny his complicity in this last re-invention of himself would be a disservice to everything he'd once claimed to believe about himself.

No. This, too, was his fate. Chosen as neatly as the curl of a finger around a trigger. As the brush of his lips against a feverish man. Mulder and fire. So cliched, but there were reasons such things were said so many times, in so many ways. And when Alex had touched him that night, long ago, it was as much to slake his thirst for gifts forsaken as to taste the man he'd loved for as long as he could remember.

I love you, I love you, I love you.

The words had burned themselves on his soul when Mulder had shivered within the circle of his arm. Alex had wanted love and life; Mulder cold ash and the final betrayal. They had both gotten their wishes and were quite neatly stuck with them. Stuck here with nothing but each other and the deepening shroud of a late winter. 

So much waste... but Alex had one choice left.

"Mulder."

Only a slight pause before the other man turned to face him, dusty and thin. Bleak and lovely as a turn of bone. "Yes?"

"It's time."

Brief flash of confusion before Mulder's eyes widened. Joy and a knife-twist of gratitude. When all was said and done the gratitude was far more painful than the immediate curl of suspicion. "How... why, Alex?"

He couldn't look at those eyes anymore. There were so many things he had wanted...

"Because I want to. Because it's time."

From the corner of his eye Alex could see a brief nod, a squaring of relief-loosened shoulders. "Then how?"

Alex turned away from his lover and made his way to the door. "Walk with me, beloved. We're going to greet the dawn."

******

Once he'd thought he'd never tire of this, of his beautiful and strange beloved at his side. The wash of unfamiliar emotion flowing over him, cool water and complexity whenever Mulder let his guard down. About that, at least, he had been correct. Nothing made Alex happier than this. A rare and treasured moment of kinship as they made their way through the night.

After a time they came to the tree he'd heard snap earlier. The break was ragged, sap flowing in sluggish rivulets before freezing to an amber stop amid the evergreen. 

//You only thought you were dead before, brother... It's all right. You will be, soon enough.//

"Here?"

Alex shook himself out of his reverie and smiled at Mulder. Ran his thumb over one too-pronounced cheekbone, drank in the brief nuzzle into his touch. Some things demand greed. "Yes. Yes, I think so."

Without another word, Mulder laid himself out on the blanket of snow and shut his eyes, a casual sprawl that couldn't have been more inviting had it been planned. Alex curled up with him, one leg and his arm staking shameless possession, and let his own eyes slip closed at the feel of a gentle hand shaping itself to his skull.

//I love you.//

******

An itch that had grown familiar announced the coming dawn. The familiarity was its own quiet shock, and Alex wondered just how long he'd been chasing this end himself... but it wasn't the time for self-analysis.

"Mulder."

The only acknowledgment was a slightly more forceful stroke of Alex's hair. It was enough. Alex brushed a kiss against the other man's thin t-shirt, spoke into his chest.

"You know I always loved you."

Mulder stiffened almost imperceptibly beneath him and Alex smiled, grateful for the passing of tears. "I know beloved, I know. It only made it worse..."

Alex waited another few moments, let the itch insinuate itself in his bones as something resembling pain. He knew Mulder could feel it, too.

"I want something."

"Yes, Alex?"

//So easy, for once... I will not be angry.//

"Kiss me, one last time?"

Mulder pulled him up by the nape and showed him his own tired, happy smile for just a few more waves of sunlit hurt before pulling him in for a kiss of hunger. Alex buried his fingers in the dusty fall of dark hair and gave in, tasting his love and his life, pressing himself as hard as he could into an answer he could only accept. 

And when he began to lose the feel of cool skin beneath his own for the flare and wash of the day, the agony was unbearable.

But it only lasted for a little while.

~~~~  
End.  
~~~~

End Note: Even though this is an AU of the AU, this is really, more or less, the way "Time" was supposed to end. Way back when I decided I wanted a hopeful ending instead... but this one wouldn't leave me alone. Again, thanks to Dawn Sharon for an image that dug in its claws and wouldn't let go.

 

* * *

 

A Love of Dead Things - AU II  
Snapshots  
by Te  
10/98  
Disclaimers: Alex isn't mine, but Anatoly is.  
Spoilers: Not a one.  
Summary: A few glimpses of Alex's time with Anatoly.  
Ratings Note: NC-17 for some m/m interaction, dark things.  
Author's Note: I dreamt of vampires (not these) and when I woke up a whole slew of these things dumped themselves in my head. Random snapshots, and I make no claims as to chronological order or reality.  
Acknowledgments: To my Sister Blue, because. To Dawn Sharon for wonderful audiencing and general inspiration. To Rae for encouragement and general Rae-ness, as well as fine beta. To Di for many helpful suggestions. Finally, to Rye, for wonderful beta in the face of assorted madnesses. (Some of them weren't even *mine*!)

* * *

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Snapshots  
by Te  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And I knew  
Love will tear you apart.  
     -- "Malibu" by Hole

Anatoly leaned against the armoire and took in his lover's form. Still and lovely, seated on the burgundy coverlet. Sometimes he had to teach. Other times he only wished to fill the silences.

"You will leave me one day, and make your own... partner."

Alex remained silent.

Anatoly hid a quiet smile. "Get him to fix his hair, and to shave. An eternity with stubble is a--" He caught his own slip but it was much too late. 

Alex's voice was cold. "What would you have done had I been... imperfect... in your eyes?"

"Shaved you clean." And Anatoly wanted to call the words back, but he'd promised never to lie to this one. He could see Alexei gritting his teeth. He wondered if he dreamed of flight. 

"Alexei..."

Silence.

"Please speak to me."

"Forgive me, Anatoly, but I am reminded of rape."

"This cannot be unfamiliar to you--"

"I've never taken someone against their will!"

"You will, Alexei, you will."

"Such a fucking smug bastard, aren't you? Why did you *do* this to me?"

"Can you honestly say it was better before? The chill, the risk, the pain on cold nights? It's always so cold here..."

"The ends justify the means. I see." Alexei's voice was a marvel of professionalism, and it made Anatoly's throat ache. 

"Is it so awful to meet yourself?"

"It isn't to you?"

Anatoly reached out to touch the other man, halted the movement. "No. No, it isn't at all."

Alex pinched the bridge of his nose, breathed deep. "Just another change to get used to. Another life for me to lead. No, don't tell me of its beauty. Just... just leave me alone for now."

"Anything you wish."

******

Anatoly stared at the vaguely charred patch of ground by the dead tree, pretended for a moment to taste ash on the wind. A foolish fantasy, he was much too late for that.

"Alexei... so much waste. You were supposed to be mine forever."

He stayed for a time, and when he turned away, he did not leave the rose behind. He had brought it for just that purpose, but there was no joy in symbolism without someone to mock it with.

******

This  
Is  
Necessary.  
Life feeds on life feeds on life...  
     --"Disgustipated" by Tool

This was always the hardest part with the new ones -- the first kill. Anatoly turned away from the young woman struggling in his grasp and took in Alexei. The younger man was glassy-eyed, looking somewhat ill. Anatoly wondered if, perhaps, he should have waited until Alexei was truly starving. 

"Oh, God, I don't think I can--"

"Of course you can. Is it so wrong to enjoy what you've done your entire life?"

And it was easy then, as he had known it would be. Anatoly would never grow tired of killers. Afterward, Alexei crouched by the corpse, stroked her still face. 

"I feel... I feel..."

"You've never been so alive, have you?"

******

They sat on the couch, huddled under down and watching the fireplace. The glass firescreen was darkened carefully, but the flames were still lovely.

"Tell me a story, Anatoly."

"What do you want me to tell you, beautiful one?"

"Anything, anything at all. I'm cold--"

"It's because you fed too much."

"Yes, mama, I'm sorry, but hold me anyway and tell me a story."

"You take advantage of my cuddlesome nature."

Alex snuggled close. "Mmm... you can punish me for it later."

"I will, too."

Sharp lance of pain in his shoulder, a rough tongue diving in for a taste. "I know." There was a smile in Alex's voice. Perhaps he could learn to like the fur-lined manacles. 

"Shall I tell you of how it was? Of the one who made me?"

"Mm-hmm. I'd like to know who taught *you* how to speak in capitals."

"Ah, indoctrination stories. You are a fascist, beautiful one."

"I know, I'm terrible. I think that's at least two floggings you owe me now." 

"My count was eighteen."

Drowsy whisper. "Always with the exaggeration. Anyone ever tell you you were a drama queen?"

"Yes, but none of them are alive."

"Neither are we."

"Tsk. Semantics don't suit you."

"Mmm... good thing nudity and mass murder do, hmm?"

******

//I love you, I love you, I love you.//

"Yes, please Ana--"

Anatoly swept down Alex's body with kisses, needing to taste every inch, marveling at the will of his hands. They moved up along the other man's torso, a steady caress of desire, and Anatoly wished for forever. He would settle for this moment. 

******

Come here, I think you're beautiful.  
     -- "Some Kind of Stranger" Sisters of Mercy

Anatoly watched Alexei from the doorway. The younger man didn't move, but there was no rest in the stillness. No calm in the quiet.

"Why did you take me?"

Anatoly wondered if they'd ever be free of this particular conversation. He knew he should have asked, but he also knew refusal would not have been an option. Perhaps it was better this way. "I wanted you."

"And... that's all?"

"Does there need to be more?"

Alex waved his hand, a small motion of frustration mirrored by the -- seemingly magical -- appearance of a frown-line. It was easy to forget that this one had been older than he. "It just... Why should you be allowed to do that? And yes, I know it's a stupid question. Answer me anyway."

"Because I can. Alexei, you are in love with your self-discipline. Would you have had it had your life not been so... small?"

"And I'm angry now because you're striking at the very heart of my self-hood."

"You've been in the company of psychoanalysts, haven't you?"

A chuckle. "Forgive me, Ana, for I have sinned."

Anatoly restrained himself from pouncing on the man immediately, more to prove he could than for any other reason.

//Heavens save me from the generation of self-denial.//

Alex lay back on the bed, kicking one foot idly. "So... we've established that you took me because you could. But *why* did you want me?"

Anatoly moved to the head of the bed, found himself wishing for a twin for the very first time. "Are you fishing for compliments?"

A grin. "Shamelessly."

"Move up closer, then."

"What big teeth you have, grandma."

"And sharp, too."

Alex complied, a languid crawl that left his own mouth nestled against Ana's throat. Ana could feel his lips move, but couldn't quite make out the words.

"So you want to know why."

"Mm-hmm."

The vibration made him shiver.

//You make me feel so young--//

"You already know you're beautiful."

"Yes, and damned sexy."

Anatoly heard himself laugh and thought of shackles. Chains. Pretty prisons for this one...

"I'm also quite fond of confidence."

A nod, soft brush of hair tickling his face.

//Don't leave me.//

"And your careful meld of lies and truths in that little proposal--"

"Eh. I've had practice."

"It was still lovely."

"Did Peskow know...?"

Anatoly shrugged. "I'm not sure, really. I always let him keep his secrets."

A snort. "Does *anyone* beat him?"

"You can, if you wish."

"Yeah, but... it just wouldn't be the same now."

"You kids today, with all your rules..."

"Old man, if it wasn't for my rules I wouldn't have been here to be so soundly taken advantage of."

"I do like taking advantage of you."

Ana could feel the smile against his neck. "Hurt me."

"Anything you wish, Alexei."

******

And the sun goes down  
I watch you slip away  
And the sun goes down  
I walk into the waves  
And the sun goes down  
I watch you slip away  
And I would...

     --"Malibu" Hole

"Harder."

"Ana... Ana are you sure?"

You won't hurt--" Broken with a gasp. "Well... more than I want."

"Jesus, I feel like I'm going to bite it off."

"You won't, beautiful one. I was just kidding about that biologically female thing."

Chuff of laughter against his groin. "I don't want to hurt you, Ana..."

//Then don't leave.//

"Do it. Take me... I want it."

Alexei's mouth was a demon of teeth, the flick of tongue a shock despite the age and familiarity of the act. He could feel--

He could feel the pulse of blood as it left his body, and fantasized the ability to see his strength filling the younger man.

//I would give you everything. You will never forgive me for having done this to you...//

"Alexei, God--"

The moan around his length was as sweet and painful as anything between them. He needed more, but Alexei was giving all he could... 

Ana pushed him off with a frustrated grunt. Turned Alexei on his belly and dove in, tasting the ghosts of mortality, the dirt and reality always the same even with just the barest hint--

"Ana, Ana--"

There was no sacrifice to give Alexei this, no pleasure so great he could not share in it. He felt himself healing, but the blood was still slick. Ana slipped in to the hilt, pulled Alexei up by the hips and rode him hard. The cries were liquid, their music a sharp pain in his soul.

It seemed cruel to have only this for a reminder. To know himself be-souled and something like human only when he ached for a love he'd never have. But Ana had always seen the worth in such things, and he knew this memory would stay with him always.

Even if the man would not.

******

Anatoly buried his face against Alexei's throat, and began to tug at his clothes. For once, Alexei wasn't helping. 

"But I'm so *hungry*, Ana."

"Tsk. You kids today. 'But Anaaaa! It's been so *long* since I've killed anyone truly interesting.'"

"Mmm... I'll settle for chubby and ready to die."

Anatoly sighed dramatically, placed his fingertips to his temples and closed his eyes. "I see... I see you cutting a swathe through teenaged American girls."

Moderately shocked laughter. "Christ, that's sick."

"Mm-hmm. Hurry and feed, beautiful one, I want to lick you clean."

******

Oh, baby  
I'm so tired...  
       -- "I Would" by Jane's Addiction

Anatoly stood behind his lover, watching him adjust his bow tie minutely in the antique mirror. It seemed too soon for this, for sending his lover to hunt alone. To let Alexei choose a role to play. Ana smiled ruefully, briefly considered muttering something about children trying to run before they'd learn to walk properly. A brief quirk of the younger man's eyebrow was all the stifling he required to hold back the thought. However...

"There are things you must remember, Alexei."

A sigh. "Like what?"

"We do this -- learn their names, touch them gently --because we must remember that we are not gods."

Alexei was thoughtful. "A touchstone to lost humanity."

"Something like that... though I like the way 'God' and 'Anatoly' sound in the same sentence."

"I seem to recall 'God' and 'Alexei' in the same sentence, too."

"A fluke."

"You have all the answers, don't you?"

"Comes with age."

"Like wisdom?"

"No, beautiful one. Wisdom comes only with pain."

Alexei smiled at him, brushed soft lips over his cheek, and walked out the door. "Then let me be a fool."

Anatoly closed his eyes, but did not turn to see him go. "Anything you wish."

~~~~  
End.  
~~~~

 

* * *

 

A Love of Dead Things - AU III  
Snapshots II: Alex  
by Te  
10/98  
Disclaimers: Alex isn't mine, Anatoly is. Stay back.  
Spoilers: Tiny, tiny one for Terma.   
Summary: A few more glimpses.  
Ratings Note/Warnings: R for m/m interaction, language, dark things. I have been assured by damned near *all* my pre-readers that there is scary stuff ahead. You've been warned.  
Author's Note: A look at things through Alex's eyes.  
Acknowledgments: To Dawn Sharon for being way cool, as always. To Sister Blue for showing me love. To Dreamerlea for many helpful suggestions, and to Rye for fine beta.

* * *

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Snapshots II: Alex  
by Te  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just one kiss  
From my lips...  
     --"Killer Wolf" by Danzig

"OK, guys, what's the joke?"

Silence, but three pairs of eyes glittered at him with palpable mirth. Alex remembered Peskow's palpable resentment at being called out of retirement. Wondered if the old bastard had set him up.

"This one, Ana?"

"Yes, Natalia, I think so."

The one called Ana was thin, and perhaps two or three inches shorter than Alex. His hair was dark and elegantly styled. Almost too elegant. His eyes were blue and

//dangerous//

compelling. Alex looked toward the exit, but he suddenly felt a thousand pounds heavier. Feeble and trapped in the antique wing chair.

"What... what did you give me?" His voice was slow and slurred on his tongue. He felt stupid with languor. A blink and they were arrayed before him, Natalia and the other man stroking his arm, Ana nuzzling his face. Sniffing him with apparent pleasure.

"Nothing, Alexei. Yet."

The knowledge dawned on him with a bright horror, piercing the haze, shattering in his mind.

"Christ, no--"

The first bite was a subtle nick into the inside of his elbow, the second a vicious one to the wrist. Before he could cry out Ana claimed his mouth with his own, and his tongue was cool and rough. The scream dissolved into a shivering moan. He had never wanted the love of dead things.

"Hush, beautiful one. It will be over soon."

And when the teeth sank into his throat he no longer had either the will or ability to scream.

******

One must eat the other who runs free before him.   
Put them right into his mouth,  
While fantasizing  
The beauty of his movements.   
A sensation not unlike  
Slapping yourself in the face...  
     -- "Of Course" by Jane's Addiction

Alex stood on the balcony in the Hall, taking in the scene below. All the chandeliers were lit, the elegant mosaic of the floor waxed to a brilliant shine. Josef, tall and broad, held a matronly woman by one wrist, arm around her thick waist. Natalia, a knife-blade thin woman draped in ancient lace, gripped a young boy by the shoulders. The mortals were struggling helplessly, heads tossing from side to side, cursing fluently. Josef and Natalia were utterly still, faces frozen in a mockery of gaiety. Mannequins of marble. Josef was painted like a clown above his impeccable tuxedo. 

The music started, a slow grind of Strauss from some hidden record player, and the vampires began to dance. A graceful, implacable whirl, mortals following helplessly. One of the farmboy's legs slipped out awkwardly, and the sickening crack of a broken ankle sent echoes throughout the room.

Alex remembered endless scenes of tragedy from the American news, how the foreign cries of suffering had their own music. He wondered when the sound of Russian had become so horrifyingly beautiful. So meaningless.

"Why... why are they doing this?"

Anatoly spoke from behind him. "It's only a game, my beautiful one."

"But it seems so... cruel."

"The best games are."

Alex winced, turned away.

"Alexei... it isn't just cruel for the victims, you know."

"How do you mean? Isn't this is all about distance? Seems rather cowardly, Anatoly."

"And you knew all their names? Kissed the children? Fucked the wives?"

"That's not--"

"No, I know. But it isn't about distance at all. Later, Natalia will remember what it was like to weep. Josef will stroke his wife's wedding gown until it starts to crumble a little more."

"The rebirth of memory... Is this... is this the only way it can be done?"

Anatoly slipped his arms around Alex's waist, rested his head between the shoulderblades. "We all find our own ways."

******

This life--  
This life is great.  
     -- "Better When You're Not Alone" by Black Crowes

Alex tamped the last sods into place and opened himself to the aging night. It was time to head home, but Anatoly pounced before he could get far.

Alex giggled. "What are you *doing*?"

"You're a very messy eater, beautiful one."

The slide and rasp of the older man's tongue was impossible to resist. Such a simple thing -- old and animalistic. He felt primitive and strong. He felt the world turn, and wondered if he'd live to see the stars change. 

"Mmm... yes, kiss me, Ana--"

"Another reason to have a... partner, Alexei. No, no, not here... but you'll forgive me if I just take a little taste, yes?"

Velvet slide of teeth into his throat and Alex felt his spine melt. There was pain -- no way to deny that -- but Anatoly was strong around him. A cool wall of affection and his need was clear and clean. He felt a fleeting urge to surrender totally -- lean back and offer his new life as a gift for this pleasure -- but he knew Ana would be offended.

And he truly didn't wish for death. 

******

A city of candles...  
I am a proud man anyway.  
     --"Three Days" by Jane's Addiction

Alex took in the bedroom with stunned horror. Every surface save for the bed itself was adorned with candles, all white, all in various stages of melt. The sweet and mildly nutty scent of wax filled the air. 

"Jesus, Ana! What is this, the vampire version of an obstacle course? I didn't feed *that* much last night."

"I almost wish I'd kept you and fed you for a little while first..."

Alex felt his mouth twist. This would never be a comfortable issue. "And why is that?"

"You have the look of a man who needs a belly, beautiful one."

"An eternity of chub? No thanks, Ana."

"Tsk. In the old days--"

Alex shut him up with a kiss. A simple ploy, but he didn't feel up to much else. He was sleepy with the weight of his victims and Ana's mouth was a temptation not to be denied.

After a time Alex pulled away, the tang of iron a familiar spice to his affection. "Why the candles?"

"Atmosphere, beautiful one. You should never underestimate the power of stage-dressing."

"Drama queen."

"You've mentioned that."

Alex chuckled, nuzzled into the other man's throat and began to nudge him carefully backwards toward the bed. "And why do we need atmosphere tonight, Ana?"

The taste of the older man's skin was a mystery, as always. Too faint to be sweat, a ghost of mortality crumbled. When the silence lengthened he was unsurprised, having long grown accustomed to the incoherency of lust. It was one touchstone among many and he would hold to that.

A moan, and he thought of the plane ticket in his battered coat -- they had never shopped for a new one -- he thought of the games he would play once back on American shores. There was business to be taken care of, however meaningless in the light of his new life.

Alex wanted something he couldn't quite name, and the man beneath him could not provide it. But there was no sadness in the thought -- he had forever, after all, and the thought of meeting Anatoly again in a year or ten was pleasant. 

For now, though, there were harsh cries and a tide of iron to take his pleasure in. He had long since learned that regret in times like these was a game for fools.

~~~~  
End.  
~~~~

Feedback drooled over at 

 

* * *

 

A Love of Dead Things - AU IV  
Snapshots III: Mulder  
by Te  
10/98  
Disclaimers: Mostly not mine. I'm working on those frequent slasher miles, though.  
Spoilers: Not a one.  
Summary: A glimpse of things from Mulder's point of view.  
Ratings Note: R for implied violence, m/m interaction.  
Author's Note: Moments from the Dead Things universe. "Taedium Vitae" is maybe necessary for this one, though I have no idea about the rest. Thanks to the lovely and talented Imajiru, all of them can be found here: http://unicorn-x.net/te/  
Acknowledgments: To my Sister Blue, whom I would follow anywhere, and not just for that sweet ass. Thanks to Alicia for many helpful comments and to Rye for fine beta. Thanks also goes to MJ, for a truly helpful thought. All remaining mistakes and ambiguities are, as always, my own fault.  
Feedback: Yes. PLEASE. Always.

* * *

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Snapshots III: Mulder  
by Te  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Moonlight on black water and Alex was still, so still. He should have been dancing. Mulder was. But then he looked down at himself, lazy loose sprawl on a high dune, and realized the rhythm was only in his head. Or perhaps in the air.

Sea wash and night birds crying to the stars... 

//My God.//

This was the endless and he was a part of it, and would always be. Never to change again, never die. Mulder felt something clench, and was surprised to see sand running from his fist, gentle salt-breeze carrying it to where his lover stood. Alex had his face to the sky, as if calling something, or perhaps listening.

Mulder thrummed with the power of the universe, even if it was really only the blood of the little old man now some 4 feet below him.

//Will it always be this way?

//Why doesn't... something... rail at me? Strike me down?//

Mulder thought of how it should've been, growing old and achy, or gasping out his last on some anonymous stretch of stained pavement. He wondered if he'd have come back, somehow. Some fore-destined life now crushed out without the basic essence of his soul to make it real. He wondered if this was the real truth beyond the biological devoids: predators walking the night roads forever, clutching greedily at stolen infinity, while their new bodies lived soulless.

//Mine forever, and given to no other.//

Something seized at his ankle and Mulder came to himself with a start. Alex was staring up at him happily, though he looked too neat. His hair was too short to be ruffled by the wind.

"Time to go, beloved."

******

He felt the sun go down from within the web of his dreams. A soothing darkness to hide him from his enemies, from his life. 

//All gone...//

He was safe again, and there were cool lips with just a hint of softness pressing into his neck. There would be a voice soon, he knew, and he clutched to the web a little while longer, fragile strands breaking within his grasp, one by one.

"Always, Mulder, always. I didn't know I loved you but I did..."

Whisper of husk and shameless adoration. Shameless when Mulder's eyes were closed, at least. This pain was bright, and Mulder could no longer stand such things... unless he could tell himself he dreamed.

"... so much I can give you now... anything you want, anything..."

******

Mulder watched Alex leave for the hunt with a mixture of pride and apprehension. He'd already hunted himself, would not need to feed for several days... and he still did not care to do so with the other man. He didn't think he'd ever be able to understand how he could get so close to his victims -- smiling, learning their names, making them laugh -- and *still* rip their throats out.

Alex had tried to explain it as a memory tool, a touchstone to humility, but Mulder had never been one to say grace at meals. And he saw no purpose in holding close to a species he was no part of, anymore. 

He wondered, though. Alex had spoken of it as though it were a Rule, and, as far as he knew, only Anatoly had seen fit to burn such things into his brain. Or perhaps Anatoly was the only one he'd *let* do that. Not for the first time, Mulder wondered just what their time together had been like...

"I'd take him back, you know."

"You've mentioned that." Anatoly's presence was not much of a shock... the man seemed to force the air from a room.

"Sorry, I really don't like repeating myself."

"Except for idiots like me?"

A muffled laugh from behind and Mulder turned to face him, leaning back against the plate glass window Alex alternated between eyeing suspiciously and treasuring. Atmosphere. 

"I understand you'll be leaving here soon?"

"Too far north, summer's coming, etc. Why are you here, Anatoly?"

"You could call me Ana."

"I could kick your Continental ass."

"You could try."

Mulder sighed, squeezed his eyes shut in an effort to either make the other man vanish by mysticism or to figure out precisely why he was angry, he couldn't decide which. When he opened them, Anatoly was seated comfortably on his couch. 

"I have no problems repeating myself. Why are you here?"

"Call it a follow-up visit, Mulder."

"Checking the progress of the difficult patient?"

"If you'd like."

Mulder just stared, and Anatoly returned the look blandly. Mulder wondered how long it would take to grow strong enough to snap the older man's neck.

"Centuries."

"That's very irritating."

"Yes."

Mulder broke off the stare and went to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator -- empty of course -- and wondered again why the hell Alex had insisted on buying the thing.

"Keeping the nicer bodies?" 

Mulder answered without thinking. "No, no, they're in the shed."

Pleased laughter. Mulder could almost feel the hand raising itself to ruffle his hair. 

//What a good monster.//

"Alex broke me of that habit."

"Yes, Alex. I heard you the first time, you know. I love him, and he loves me, etc., forever, always, blah, blah, blah."

"You have all the romance of a goat."

"You've dated many goats?"

"Times were hard in the dark ages."

Mulder heard himself laugh and gave up. "Can I offer you something? Wax apple? Maybe some nice incense?"

But Anatoly was gone.

******

Mulder pounced as soon as Alex walked in the door, slammed him face-first into the carpet. Grey now in the new home. Mulder had already called for new to be installed. Indigo. Though he had to admit a pattern of sprawled Alexes might add just the proper something to the utterly dull color.

"You're lucky I like this sort of thing, Mulder."

No one should be allowed to sound that sexy with his nose flattened by floor. It might have had something to do with his position straddling Alex's hips, though.

"... you wanted?"

"Hmmm...?"

Alex flipped himself over, careful to dislodge Mulder as little as possible. "I asked if there was something you wanted?"

The gleam in Alex's eyes was lovely, but still shadowed. He was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Mulder only became aware of the frown on his face by its mirror. Alex caught his hand, ran his thumb over his palm. 

"What's wrong...?"

Another unspoken 'beloved' and, abruptly, Mulder had had enough of himself. In this at least he could give a little. He flattened himself along Alex's body, nipped lightly at his lip before settling himself by one terrifyingly lovely ear.

"Alex..."

A shiver from beneath and lips pressed against his own ear. "What can I give you?"

"Whisper in my ear... like you used to when you thought I slept."

Alex stiffened for a harsh moment before relaxing again. When his voice came, it was a low rasp of pain. "What are you asking me, Mulder?"

"Tell me you love me."

Mulder felt the brush of lashes against his cheek, knew the eyes had closed in the weight of relief. 

"You are my beloved--"

"Forever." And Mulder kissed him softly, leaned easily into the rough caress.

"I'll give you anything..."

Another kiss. "Forever."

The words continued to spill, a jumble of languages, quiet sounds of answered need, whispers of an eternity of dreams, miracles calm and easy within reach. And Mulder was grateful for the passage of tears, wanting nothing to halt his promises of forever at each expectant pause. 

Life and love. Alex for an age of night.

~~~~  
End.  
~~~~


End file.
